Relationship and Sexual ViolenceSexual ViolenceWhat is Relationship Violence?
Relationship violence, also known as "domestic violence" or "intimate partner violence," is the use of abusive behavior by one person in an intimate relationship as a means of gaining power and control over the other person. This abusive behavior is frequently some combination of physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and/or economic abuse.
Relationship violence is rarely an isolated incident. Rather it is a recurring pattern of coercive behaviors that often escalate over time. Relationship violence is not limited to any racial, ethnic or religious group, economic or social class, sexual orientation, or age group. Although each situation is different, there are some common warning signs to look out for, including but not limited to the behaviors listed below.
Extreme jealousy and possessiveness: he or she does not want you to have friends; spies on you; isolates you
Controlling attitude: decides who you can talk to, what you can wear, where you can go and what you can do
Mood swings: loses temper quickly, then becomes sad, depressed, apologetic, or romantic
Forced Sex: makes you feel afraid to say no; makes you do things you do not want to do or feel uncomfortable doing; refuses to practice safer sex; uses sex as a reward for certain behavior or as something that needs to be earned.
Dominating: believes that you should be passive and submissive; believes that he/she should dominate and be in control
Facts: As many as one in every three college-aged men and women experiences violence in his or her dating relationships.
Only one of every 25 people who experience relationship violence will seek help from professional service providers.
Violence and abuse occur across all socioeconomic, racial, religious, and ethnic groups.
Ending an abusive relationship is hard. Only about four out of 10 relationships end after the onset of violence and abuse. People stay due to fear, confusion, loss of self-esteem, or the belief that the abuser needs their help or will change.
Go Ask Alice! is the health question and answer Internet resource produced by Alice! Health Promotion. If it's on your mind, it's probably on Go Ask Alice!
Sexual Violence Response provides comprehensive and integrated education, support and advocacy about sexual and relationship violence. The program supports survivors and fosters individual and collective action to end sexual and relationship violence. For more information go to Sexual Violence Response.
Understanding Relationship Violence
This workshop starts with the premise that we want to build healthy relationships not only with our intimate partners, but also with the world around us. It explores the complexities of dominate-subordinate power relations by examining the intersection of gender, class, sexuality, and race. This workshop uses participants' experiences as well as current research and statistics to build a foundation to understand relationship violence across sexual identities. This workshop also includes a look at what participants can do to transform relationships based on dominator principles to ones based on partnership principles. For more information go to Workshops, Groups, and Trainings.
Inaction is Action: Understanding Bystanders
Ever wonder why some folks do not get involved in a crisis situation? Or why some folks like to stay neutral? This workshop explores bystander behavior and how such behavior can encourage or discourage harmful behaviors. For more information go to Workshops, Groups, and Trainings.
The Barnard Columbia Rape Crisis/Anti-Violence Support Center provides peer counseling and advocacy services for survivors and co-survivors of sexual and relationship violence. For more information go to the Barnard Columbia Rape Crisis/Anti-Violence Support Center.
- Student Services for Gender-Based and Sexual Misconduct (212) 854-1717
- Barnard Health Services (212) 854-2091
- Barnard clinician-on-call (866) 966-7788
- Barnard Furman Counseling Services (212) 854-2092
- Barnard Public Safety (212) 854-3362
- Counseling and Psychological Services (212) 854-2468
- Medical Services (212) 854-7426
- Columbia University clinician-on-call for after-hours health concerns (212) 854-9797
- Columbia University Public Safety (212) 854-2796
- Nightline (10pm-3am) (212) 854-7777
- Morningside Campus University Ombuds Office (212) 854-1234
- Columbia University Medical Center Campus (212) 305-3400
- Columbia University Medical Center for Student Wellness (212) 304-5564
- Columbia University Medical Center Mental Health Services (212) 795-4181
- Columbia University Medical Center clinician-on-call (212) 305-5549
- Columbia University Medical Center Campus Public Safety x99 or 305-8100
- Columbia University Medical Center Office of Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action (212) 854-5511
- Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 621-HOPE*
- NYC Dept. of Mental Health and Mental Hygiene (1800-LIFENET)*
- NYC Gay & Lesbian Anti-Violence Project (212) 714-1141*
- Police Sex Crimes Unit (212) 267-RAPE*
- St. Luke’s/Roosevelt Crime Victim Treatment Center (212) 523-4728
- Safe Horizon (Victim’s Services) (212) 577-7777
- Connect: Safe Families Peaceful Communities
- Family Violence Prevention Fund
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or TTY (800) 787-3224
- Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
- Violence Against Women - Office U.S. Department of Justice
- Building a “Big Tent” Approach to Ending Men’s Violence, by Jackson Katz
* 24-hour Number